November 11, 2012

Nightmarish

Just woke up from an awful nightmare:

I was forced to be in an Anna Wintour fashion shoot, but they didn't like how I looked, so they drugged me in order to dye my hair. I woke up a platinum blonde with over-plucked eyebrows and those awful long nails. When I went to sob about it to my parents I found they had extracted all my journals from storage, read them, and ripped out the pages they didn't like. They told me they were worried about who I was turning into -- who I'd "become" in the past few months, and warned me if I didn't change I was sure to lose J. The rest of the dream I sat around feeling betrayed and trying to work out what in me had changed -- how to get back to whoever they thought I was.

Everything about it was awful. A combination of Costly Desire violence, scenes from The September Issue and Downton episode 3.7 (Thomas confesses his love for Jimmy), and a visit from my parents yesterday. Collective Unconscious working overtime. Whew.

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