If I were to give this month a new title/focus, it might be Embracing the Self. I haven't really been spending any more time than usual with myself or examinining myself, but it still feels like June has brought a lot of personal evaluation and growth. For one thing, it's been exactly a year since I've graduated; one year of real-world auditions, a real person job, an internship, and living on my own budget. As usual, some things turned out better than I imagined they would, and others... well, I have to remind myself that 23 years does not perfection make.
So what have I been up to this month, if not learning French and posting about it here? I'm so glad you asked.
June started off with a visit from an old friend. This particular old friend bore news of another old friend -- one who I'd finally convinced myself to stop wondering and worrying about. Strangely enough, the news she brought, although unsettling, settled me. Like a priest, she released me of all guilt, and like a jester she made me laugh in the wake of tragedy. Isn't it funny how sometimes the thing we need to hear the most comes in the least necessary of times? And yet, coming in that time, makes itself seem necessary? If this sounds absurdly vague, don't worry about it -- It's not about you anyway!
Delightfully, I was able to reconnect with five other college friends over coffee/meals in the past six weeks. Amazing how much time you have for people in your life when you just make it happen. Take that, Seattle Freeze.
|Thanks to Erin for this totally absurd shot.|
A handful of my younger college acquaintances graduated this month. Boy, there's nothing like hanging around fresh graduates to make you feel 100% not impressive. You smile and congratulate everyone on their success, thinking all the while, "The next three days are the happiest and most hopeful you will feel for the next year at least, so lap it up, smartypants..." And meanwhile the other half of you is remembering how much it royally sucked to hear a statement like that in the wake of your own celebration. So you keep your lips zipped and your smile plastered and find yourself asking things like, "What's next for you?" even though the instant clammy palms you get just hearing that question bounce around your head remind you how much you loathed being on the receiving end of such an inquiry. And when the graduate looks up, their eyes swimming with hope, anticipation, and champagne-induced happy-tears, and says (in a voice that simply cannot hide the dread), "I don't really know yet!" you relocate your pride and realize: No. You don't in fact feel one ounce of envy for this floundering fledgling. Not one ounce.
A much smaller handful of friends -- okay, two to be exact -- brought wedding bells clanging into my life. The first of our drama pack celebrated their wedding just last week, and my bestie Miss HH is gettin' hitched just over 4 months from now. I've been asked to be a bridesmaid for the first time in my life -- a positively unreal delight! Here's evidence of the sweet experience:
Mid-month, I was finally able to visit my grandmother for the first time in several years. We had some good heart-to-hearts during my time there. Additionally, I was able to enjoy my mother's food, my father's The Beatles Anthology videos, two long drives with my littlest brother, an impromptu piano lesson, a rambunctious trip to Trader Joe's, a bag of sassafras hard candy, and a right fine run in the rain.
There's the usual stuff, and then there's the occasional day like this, where I get to pretend I'm five again:
|Tinkerbell, reporting for action.|
You may also have noticed that this here blog saw a makeover in the last month. I've been researching better blogging tactics -- ways to expand my audience, develop better articles, etc. I don't expect personal posts like this one to garner much interest with strangers, but if you happen to be reading any of my posts and like them, do let me know! Thumbs up on Stumble, comment below, recommend to a friend, or tell me face to face! To all of you out there listening, THANK YOU! Your presence means the world to me.
|"Fancy Friday" - Chic Galleria|
Chic Galleria lets fashion rule my mine rather than my bank account. I never spent much money on clothes to begin with, but I'm finding more and more that fashion is a surprisingly easy element to cut out of my budget. So easy, in fact, that the last time I put on my one pair of audition pants they ripped clear through the knee. Oops. So I'm rocking the Raggedy Ann look until seasonal sales hit -- which is right about now, actually!
Speaking of seasons, last month I decided try a new fashion concept: seasonal updates. From this point forward, I'm going to try to keep a more modest (as in smaller, not necessarily more wholesome) wardrobe. The first step was clearing as much out of my closet as possible. Lord knows I have more to say about this (you can never trust me to be short-winded when it comes to organizing), but that is a post for another day* -- probably minimalism month. The purging session was successful: I'm proud to report I have three bags' full -- one for the dumpster, one for Goodwill, and one for the little boy who lives down the lane.
|Overalls: the only thing that could make George Harrison even more awesome.|
In other news, the 60s continue to rock my music and fashion life; Jane, Bonnie, and Tavi continue to thrill my wildest fashion dreams; and I've stopped washing my hair with baking soda and vinegar. I lasted two months, but then I was seduced by the smell of my roommate's kiwi-scented shampoo. My hair certainly lost some of its fullness, but I'm happy to smell nice and feel truly clean again.
I have made Waldorf salad twice to surprisingly great success! Who knew pleasing people's palette could be this easy? If you're looking for a light summer salad to bring to your next barbeque, look no further: recipe here. Tip: my mom always nixed the mayo and go for Greek or vanilla yogurt. I stand by this swap, because I hate mayo.
JM turned me on to egg-and-peanut-butter breakfast sandwiches, which you should know are ERMAGAWD ERMAAZING. Don't give me your skeptical eyebrow -- go out there and give yourself some protein love. Trust me, your tum and tongue will thank me.
I also have discovered the weirdness and wonder of pistachio instant pudding, from Jello.
|Like baby food for aliens.|
|Columbia City Bakery's Ultimate Coffee Cake.|
Like I said, this has been a "me" month. I've been TED-video-ing all over the place, and watching Inside the Actor's Studio as much as possible. I've questioned what kind of an actor I want to be and done homework for auditions the way I used to in school. I've toyed with the idea of grad school like a kitten might with the rat king from The Nutcracker. I've considered moving to London more than once. I've attempted to peel my eyes from the ever-seductive silhouette of New York City.
In my meanderings through acting articles I came across one particularly helpful one about Typecasting. I've always been curious to know my true "type," and this article proposed that the best way to do this was to ask for input frm everyone I know. Gulping down my pride and dignity, I created an anonymous questionnaire on Survey Monkey all about me (take it here, if you like!) and distributed it to anyone I thought my appease me. I got 20 responses, and I'm quite enjoying reading through the results! Once I find an adequate way to represent them, I will share here. (In addition to my Mood Chart graph, which I just remembered I still have to create.
And speaking of GRAPHS, I found this fabulous psychology visual from Information is Beautiful:
I MEAN, HOW COOL IS THAT?!
Overall, June has been a marvelous time to check in with everything that's become so important to me in the past year: the strength my family gives me, the joy my friends bring, the-roller-coaster-ride-that-is becoming an actor, fashion and organizing it, living healthy-not-perfect, finding contentment in the mini-beauties that surround me, and writing about all of it in this blog. Next month is Photography and August is Minimalism, and then I will have concluded my year of Inspirsession in Action! Hard to believe. I'm so grateful for what I've learned this far, and I can't wait to see what new lessons the summer brings.
*As is Port Townsend -- which I promise is coming, Katie!!